Holding Hands photo
About Viktoria Ivanova
Online Relationship Therapist & Couples Counsellor
My Relationship Journey:
Relationships can be a source of the greatest happiness and elation, and also, the most significant source of fear and anxiety.
I speak about these ups and downs from my own experience. I got onto a relationship roller coaster at the end of high school and kept riding it for most of my 20s.
I would enter relationships with men who were not committed to me. Even though I felt insecure and anxious in relationship with these men, I continued to seek them out.
It took a lot of soul-searching and personal work for me to finally realize that the person who was afraid of commitment was me. For this reason, I would seek out men who were “not that into me.” This dynamic created a safe emotional distance for me in these relationships.
With this awareness, I was able to change the pattern I was stuck in and begin a relationship with someone who was genuinely interested in me.
But this was only the beginning of my journey.
I grew up in a family where fighting and yelling were a common part of daily life. Without knowing it, I learned that this type of unhealthy conflict was normal in relationships.
At the slightest transgression, I would fight tooth and nail as if I was facing an enemy. My attitude in the relationship was one of general mistrust and caution.
Now that I was in a relationship with someone who cared about me, I realized that how I handled conflict wasn’t working for him or for me.
It took a lot more personal growth for me to begin to start changing my reaction and to move towards being ‘on the same team with my partner.’ When this shift finally happened, I felt an incredible sense of trust and a depth of love that I had never experienced before.
Looking back at my journey, I realize that our ability to build healthy intimate relationships is the most valuable skill we can have, as relationships affect every aspect of our lives.
After going through my own relationship transformation, I became passionate about helping people solve their relationship puzzles, and trained to become a relationship therapist for couples and singles.
As a Registered Clinical Counsellor and Certified Canadian Counsellor, I now work online via Skype and FaceTime video with clients from all over the world, by sharing with them an essential life skill – how to build healthy relationships and transform challenging ones.
My Gifts as a Counsellor:
- Attending to Your Comfort: Your comfort and safety in therapy sessions is my priority. Having gone through the experience of therapy myself, I deeply understand how important it is to trust your therapist. My genuine, down-to-earth nature and my caring approach, help ensure that you feel at ease and safe from the start.
- Helping You See Relationship Patterns: Clients praise my ability to connect the dots and to see the full picture of their relationship dynamics. I quickly help you draw connections that bring insights and offer the most effective tools to you and your partner.
- Paying Attention to Communication Beyond Words: Couples therapy goes beyond what we say out loud. Research shows that 55% of our interactions are non-verbal, through our facial expressions, gazes, body postures and positions. I am incredibly adept at picking up non-verbal cues and bringing these to your awareness. This allows you to process deep and intense feelings, and speeds up the therapeutic progress significantly.
- Helping you Differentiate Between Your Past and Present: I can quickly determine whether the intensity of your present emotions is connected to your past or present experience. Being stuck in the feelings from past/childhood conflicts, can greatly interfere with your relationships in the present. Processing these past feelings speeds up therapeutic progress and releases past traumas.
- Master of Education in Counselling Psychology (University of Western Ontario, Canada), 2010
- Bachelor of Science in Psychology (University of British Columbia, Canada), 2006
Specialized Relationship & Couples Therapy Training:
- The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy (The Couple’s Institute)
- Emotional Focused Therapy with Sue Johnson
- Effective Marriage & Family Counselling
Counselling Association Memberships:
- Registered Clinical Counsellor #13553 (BC Association of Clinical Counsellors)
- Certified Canadian Counsellor #5237 (Canadian Counselling & Psychotherapy Association)
Click here to book an appointment with me.