Couples and Marriage Counselling
For Couples Wishing to Transform Conflict and Pain Into Harmony and Happiness
We provide marriage and couples therapy to people who are feeling stuck and discouraged in their relationships. They are looking for ways to save their relationship and create more fulfillment and deeper intimacy. In essence, they want to discover how to Do Love Well.
Our therapists provide counselling in our Vancouver office or via Skype or phone.
If you resonate with any of the problems below, you’re a suitable couple for couples counselling:
- You and your partner have ongoing hurtful arguments with each other.
- The two of you struggle with the same issues over and over (e.g. parenting, money, in-laws, sex, etc)
- You don’t feel heard, respected or loved enough.
- You have a lousy or non-existent sex life.
- One of you has had an affair and you’re on a roller coaster of emotions – grief, anger, regret, etc.
- You’re distant and cool towards each other; you’ve lost your connection.
- You’re worried that the relationship will end – or one of you is thinking about moving on.
Regardless of how long you have been struggling in your relationship and how frustrated and hurt you are feeling, with marriage therapy there is always hope. Our couples therapists can help you turn your relationship around often in only a few sessions. Research shows couples counselling works!
Before we came to couples counselling, I did not have a constructive way to have a disagreement with my partner. I would leave the instant there was any real or perceived threat or show of anger.
I didn’t express myself the way I needed to in order to be heard. I was afraid that if I told the truth I would be judged and criticized. This fear was one of the biggest obstacles to me showing up in the relationship. I covered up, sugar-coated, stuffed and pretended ‘everything’s fine!’ But it wasn’t fine.
I can now say what I need to express but in a non-threatening way. I can be honest and open…
We have a very healthy relationship now – we’ve come so far from where we were. Our communication is amazing. We’ve learned how to take our relationship to the next level and get deeper.
I look forward to continued intimacy and deeper expansion together as a couple, being open and more transparent and to continue to enjoy each other as we’re doing.
G.M., Vancouver, BC (Male)
Couples Counselling Works Best When:
- You and your partner are fully committed to making your relationship work.
- You are open to healing past wounds in order to allow yourself to love and to be loved.
- You’re ready to make changes in your behavior in order to save your relationship.
- You are willing to take responsibility for your part in your relationship problems.
- You’re willing to be honest about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and share them in our couples therapy sessions.
- You want to grow as an individual in order to be happier and make your relationship better.
- You want to see results quickly and are willing to invest the time and money for that to happen.
As counsellors who specialize in working with couples, we are passionate about our work. We will invest deeply in helping you succeed. In order to help you create a more loving and fulfilling relationship, we want both of you to invest the same of yourselves. We ask this of you because the deeper you engage in the process of therapy, the quicker you will see results. We will be clear and direct with you. We want you to be the same with each other.
Before couples counselling, our relationship was not good; there was betrayal and mistrust. I wasn’t getting the full truth. And so the way I reacted was to accuse, be angry. My MO was to leave – to run.
I believe one of the reasons the betrayal happened was because of my lack of communication with my husband. I didn’t know how to open up to him and tell him what was really going on for me. I didn’t express my feelings truthfully or transparently. Instead, they came out sideways and backwards, leaking out manipulatively. I threatened – gave ultimatums. I was desperate. I tried to make him tell the truth; to manipulate him into changing, thinking that there was something wrong with him!
One of the big things that I learned in counselling was that I was an over-functioner and because of that my partner didn’t have space to step up and function 100%. I was in anxiety a lot of the time and so I just kept over-functioning.
Today I have so much more control over my life in general. I have control over my moods and my feelings. I feel way more peaceful than before because I’m being transparent – even if I’m feeling ashamed about a thought I will express it to my partner. As soon as I started telling him my hidden thoughts he was just so open – because I’m not blaming him. It’s not even in me any more – it’s freeing.
I just can’t thank you enough.
L.C., Vancouver, BC (Female)
Couples Counselling & Coaching Sessions
1. The First Session: The Relationship Inventory (2 Hours)
Our initial couples therapy session will begin with a 2 hour, Relationship Inventory with one of our couples therapists. During this session we will:
- Assess your relationship’s problems and strengths. Your counsellor will listen to both perspectives so that each of your views are heard.
- Determine what you want from each other. We’ll create a vision of what you want your relationship to look like.
- Develop a plan of action for how you will achieve your relationship goals.
- Begin the healing of your relationship by deciding on the concrete action steps you will work on until our next session.
2. Ongoing Couples Therapy Sessions
- Couples Counselling Sessions
Once we’ve completed the relationship inventory and have determined the plan for moving forward in your relationship, it’s best if we start weekly sessions immediately. We want you to be able to build momentum and quickly create new and more positive ways of relating. To achieve this, it will be in your interest if you attend consistently.
In the long run, you’ll see results faster and save time and money on the duration of couples therapy. Our goal is for you to be able to see immediate results and then turn your relationship around as quickly as possible.
By the end of your work together in counselling, you’ll likely be able to:
- Develop healthy, loving patterns of interacting.
- Skillfully communicate in order to get your needs met in the relationship.
- Quickly be able to resolve conflict with each other and deepen intimacy, bringing you closer together.
- Feel safer and more secure with each other.
- Have more fun together as a couple.
- Become optimistic about your future together.
- Grow as an individual becoming more secure and confident in yourself.
- Know how to Do Love Well.
If you are ready to transform your relationship from conflict and pain to harmony and happiness, contact us now in our Vancouver office.
We also provide relationship counselling and coaching to people anywhere in the world by phone, Skype and email.