Holding Hands photo
About Lisa de Luisgnan
Online Relationship Counselling for Singles
How My Old Beliefs About Love and Marriage Ended up in Divorce
I used to believe that my goal was to find a kind and successful man that I loved who would be a good father and take care of things. Growing up I had been taught that an important criteria for choosing a partner was that he be a successful professional and a good provider.
Healthy communication with my partner as well as honoring my passions and goals were never a consideration for me. My needs never crossed my mind.
And so I got married in my early 20s and thought it would be forever.
I met my husband on the rebound from a 4-year relationship that was going nowhere fast. I was head over heels in love, and within 2 years I was married.
It was a whirlwind romance that included travel, building a house, and having a baby. I thought I was in relationship heaven!
But in just less than 7 years, my marriage unraveled.
I was divorced and single in my 30s. I was devastated, confused and miserable. And yet, I felt relieved and happy at the same time.
I thought I had done the right thing by finding a husband and doing everything the way I was taught to be in a relationship. It seemed to work for my parents, right?
My Journey Inwards – Discovering What I Wanted from a Relationship
After my divorce, I began my journey inwards to try to make sense of what went wrong.
Why was love not enough? Why wasn’t having everything I wanted – the man, the baby, the house, and the financial security – enough to make my marriage work?
The most obvious answer was that deep down I did not know who I was or what my relationship desires were.
How did I expect to have an authentic connection with someone when I didn’t know what that looked like and couldn’t find it within myself?
In the 7 years between the end of my marriage and my current relationship – a time I affectionately call my “single career” – I dated a lot and had fun, but I was still making mistake after mistake. I wondered what I was doing to attract all the wrong types of people.
I was forced to look at what I was doing to repeat history.
Eventually, I realized that I could create my OWN beliefs about what kind of relationship I wanted and that those beliefs could be different from the beliefs I had grown up with.
I had to struggle to figure out who I was and what my passions were. I began exploring options for a career. This was new – to actually consider that I could even have a career! Having a career as a woman was never discussed in the family I grew up in.
I went back to school to study to become a counsellor, a career that I now love.
By focusing on my self-esteem, my goals, my success, and my passions, I was able to become the person I was meant to be.
I am now able to connect with others from my authentic self. This is who I am now in all my relationships – a complete self who is growing, learning, changing and who has depth and vibrancy.
My Gifts as a Relationship Therapist for Single People
- I use my warmth and humor to create authentic connections with clients.
- I have the ability to focus beyond the client’s struggle and see the strengths, gifts and resources of the client.
- I have a unique ability to ask evocative questions to help the client move forward using their own intuition.
- I bring insight from my single life experience to help clients feel inspired and hopeful.
- I provide open, honest, and direct feedback to clients.
Professional Counsellor Credentials
- Masters in Transpersonal Counselling Psychology
- Diploma in Life Skills Coaching and Counselling
- Certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Registered Professional Counselor, CPCA 2042
Now as a relationship counsellor and coach, my chosen path is to help single people to also find that authentic self so that they can live their single life to the fullest and bring their “whole self” to a fulfilling relationship.
If you are ready to do love well, please contact us and we will book your first therapy appointment.