Holding Hands photo
Recovery was supposed to be
a golden time for love, right?
But instead of feeling happy in your relationships, you feel disconnected and alone.
Find out how our relationship recovery counselling can help after you’ve stopped your addiction…
When love goes wrong at any time, it hurts.
But when it goes wrong after all your hard work in sobriety, it can be devastating.
It feels like a cruel joke. Here you are in recovery, working hard to have a successful relationship and suddenly it feels like a nightmare.
Wasn’t sobriety supposed to help get your life together and make you happy?
Many of our therapy clients who seek help for relationships in recovery come because they are frustrated and disillusioned. They thought that sobriety would fix their relationship problems, but it didn’t.
And, unfortunately, it can’t.
Relationship skills do not magically appear once you get sober.
Even after you or your partner are no longer abusing drugs or alcohol, relationships are up against a powerful addiction process which has programmed your brain to keep doing the same things over and over again even when you are trying your best to grow and change.
So even though the active addiction has stopped, unfortunately the relationship wiring in the brain is still the same.
It’s not your fault.
You’ve tried hard to solve your relationship problems but nothing has worked.
It’s time to ask for help. You don’t have to struggle.
The good news is relationship counselling can literally help “rewire” your brain.
You can overcome unhealthy and reactive patterns of relating and develop new patterns of communicating that will finally help you achieve the love you want in your life.
Therapy will help you and your partner change unhealthy patterns of relating – for good.
How is relationship counselling different when you’re in recovery?
When you have had an active addiction in the past, therapy helps you as a single or as a couple “grow” your interpersonal skills to manage your differences in intimate relationships.
Counselling in sobriety helps you recognize which interpersonal skills could not develop as a result of the addictive process in your brain; and then helps you start developing new relationship skills by “rewiring” your brain.
During active addiction, people connect more deeply to their addictive substance or behaviour than they do to other people. In recovery, you have to learn to connect more deeply to others in order to be happy and fulfilled. This can be frightening and overwhelming, but it *is* possible.
Couples counselling during recovery helps you discover which essential intimacy skills are missing from your relationship and how to develop them. Practicing and using these new skills changes the way your brain experiences love and connection. In time, your brain adjusts to these new skills and ways of relating, so that connecting with and loving a partner becomes much easier.
When you attend counselling after you are sober:
- You will learn how to listen and be heard without reacting
- You will come to recognize your triggers and learn to manage them
- You will learn loving ways to set boundaries
- You will have a healthy sex life as the natural by-product of love and connection
- You and your partner will discover how to communicate without hurting each other
- You will be able to open up and trust yourself and your partner
- You will feel confident knowing that you CAN “do love well”
- You will feel more fulfilled and have a greater sense of serenity in your life and relationship
We are Dedicated to Helping People in Sobriety Discover How to Do Love Well – Sober.
Counselling for couples and singles in sobriety follows a simple program of action that gives you the skills you need to have the love you want in sobriety.
It doesn’t matter how long you have been sober or how long you have been struggling, you can completely turn your relationships around.
After one of our counsellors, Edel, struggled with relationships during her recovery she finally sought outside help.
Edel knows how disheartening it is to be sober but still have unsuccessful relationships.
With professional counselling Edel was able to:
- Become aware of unhealthy relationship patterns and accept that she needed to change them
- Take the actions necessary to make those changes happen
Counselling helped Edel learn to do love well.
Her own experience fueled her passion to help people in recovery from addiction find a new way to love – a way of loving that makes them feel good about themselves and their relationships.
With Edel’s unique combination of training and expertise, combined with her personal recovery experience, your relationship is in good hands!
To get started on your relationship recovery journey, sign up below for our newsletter Love Done Well and receive our free report, Top Ten Tips for Healing Relationship Hurt.
If you’re ready to learn how to Do Love Well in recovery, contact us in our downtown Vancouver office.
We also provide relationship counselling and coaching to clients anywhere in the world by phone and secure online video platforms. Contact us to find out more.
We at Love Done Well Counselling humbly acknowledge that we live, work, play and heal on the unceded traditional territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.